


Don't Jump

by thats_me_not_you



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, M/M, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:57:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3632325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_me_not_you/pseuds/thats_me_not_you
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry stands on top of the astronomy tower and thinks about his life. <br/>Severus joins him, but can't change anything...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Jump

**Author's Note:**

> I first wrote that story in German, and published it also on fanfiktion.de. But then I had to translate for a research paper. Now here it is again. I like AO3 better anyways...
> 
> It is a sonfic to Don't Jump by TokioHotel, so I suggest you listen to the song, while reading the fic. Here have a link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4b8ax_tokio-hotel-don-t-jump-official-cli_music

Once again, Harry sat on top of the astronomy tower. Sadly, he looked into the cold world around Hogwarts. It was shortly after Christmas and the school grounds were covered in white.

The Gryffindor leaned on the balustrade and watched the night pass by. Not that he was able to see much anyways. Already during the summer holidays, his vision became worse, since his uncle Vernon repeatedly hit his head against a wall.

Harry didn’t like to be up here anymore. He wasn’t sure, if he could resist the temptation to jump and end his life in this way. Even now the golden boy of Gryffindor reflected if it wouldn’t be better for everyone, when he just ended his right here, right now.

But suddenly he heard a voice, so quiet. He thought he imagined it, it was so gentle.

 

_“On top of the roof, the air is so cold and so calm_

_I say your name in silence; you don’t wanna hear it right now_

_The eyes of the city are counting the tears falling down_

_Each one a promise of everything you never found”_

The male, calm voice grew louder so that Dumbledore’s golden boy couldn’t doubt anymore that he was hearing it.

Although he wasn’t a golden boy anymore. After he beat the Dark Lord in the spring of his sixth year for good, Harry was simply dumped. Ron and Hermione ended their friendship and displayed him as a liar, when Harry said that he had stopped Voldemort forever.

Nobody in the whole wizarding world believed him anymore. They regarded him as a fraud who sought the whole time power and fame.

 

_“I scream in the night for you, don’t make it true, don’t jump._

_The lights will not guide you through, they’re deceiving you, don’t jump._

_Don’t let memories go of me and you_

_The world is down there out of view_

_Please, don’t jump.”_

Though the Weasleys, except for the five eldest sons, and the Order of the Phoenix were present at the final battle. Everyone saw Harry fight on the side of Dumbledore and the light order.

But everyone told later stories, in which the Gryffindor did not destroy Voldemort.

Instead, they said, that he helped the Dark Lord escape.

Every member of the Order told that story of the events and also warned the public about the war not being over.

Not only those news made headlines over the summer. Another lie, told by the Order, is that Harry was very eager to take Voldemort’s place as the Dark Lord. Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, said that personally when he was asked why the Gryffindor had to return to his muggle relatives again over the summer.

 

_“You open your eyes but you can’t remember what for;_

_The snow will fall quietly, you just can’t feel it no more._

_Somewhere out there you lost yourself in your pain;_

_You dream of the end, to start all over again”_

Harry had to think about Dumbledore too. The leader of the Light knew perfectly what he was doing to Harry with bringing him back to the Dursleys for another summer.

Damn it, the headmaster arranged it so that the Gryffindor would return broken from his holidays before his seventh year. Dumbledore ordered his uncle Vernon, even paid him, to treat Harry a bit more harshly.

But Harry didn’t think that his uncle would rape him when he was barely an hour in this so-called ‘home’. 

 

_“I scream into the night for you, don’t make it true, don’t jump._

_The lights will not guide you through, they’re deceiving you, don’t jump._

_Don’t let memories go of me and you_

_The world is down there out of view_

_Please, don’t jump.”_

The singer came closer in the meantime and Harry could recognize the voice.

It was the gentle voice of his once hated potions professor. Yes, Harry hated Severus Snape in the past. But now, he loved him.

The professor was the only connection left to his parents, even when they couldn’t stand each other. Sirius already died in his fifth year and Remus was completely controlled by Dumbledore, who prevented that Harry could turn to anyone.

Dumbledore enabled that nobody would talk voluntary to the Boy-Who-Lived anymore. So he grew lonely and had to spend Christmas, the celebration of love, alone.

 

_“I don’t know how long_

_I can hold you so strong_

_I don’t know how long”_

Yes, Harry decided. He would jump and end his truly more than horrible life.

He simply didn’t want to be strong anymore. Didn’t want to fight anymore. Didn’t want to see anymore, how people, he cared for, died or got hurt one after the other.

 

_“Just take my hand_

_Give it a chance_

_Don’t jump”_

Suddenly, a hand touched his shoulder, holding him back. But it was too little, too late. The Gryffindor turned around slowly and hugged his professor.

Severus saw the tears in the younger face and wiped them away gently, while he continued singing.

Harry freed himself from the loved man and turned back around, facing the emptiness of the school grounds and the endless sky above him. He made his choice and would not back down from it.

Slowly he climbed on top of the balustrade of the astronomy tower, breathing calmly.

 

_“I scream into the night for you, don’t make it true, don’t jump._

_The lights will not guide you through, they’re deceiving you, don’t jump._

_Don’t let memories go of me and you_

_The world is down there out of view_

_Please, don’t jump.”_

Mentally, Harry has been prepared for his death for a long time now. Always since he lived with the Dursleys, he was abused in the worst ways possible. Harry wasn’t afraid of death. He longed for it in some sort, because then this endless pain would finally be over.

Suddenly, he noticed movements beside him. Severus climbed elegantly beside him and took Harry’s hand in his hand, holding it tightly, assuring him.

 

_“And if all that can’t hold you back_

_Then I’ll jump for you…”_

The last notes faded away and in the same moment, the two men jumped into the icy depths of the frozen school grounds, forever embraced in their joined love and pain.


End file.
